Women Talk - Infidelity
By My Lil Venture on Apr 1, 2007 in Women Talk
This is a favourite topic amongst women. Even Oprah Winfrey had a segment on this whereby the men confessed their so called “adventures” to an audience with their wives listening behind the scene.
I come from a broken home as my dad was having extra marital affairs and it has deeply affected me in the sense that I find it hard to trust men. The fact that my mom forgave him over and over again but he was unrepentant makes it more difficult for me to forgive him till today. Fortunately, I have a hubby who understands this and have continuously provided me the support and assurance to build my confidence in our relationship.
But seriously, being a woman, what would you do if you found out your husband was having an affair? Let’s take a vote.
Marisa | Apr 1, 2007 | Reply
Depends.
Did you break down and confess or did I have to confront him?
If I confronted him, did he try to deny it?
Did he admit it immediately?
Is this the first time?
Does he want to fix the relationship?
I married a man, not a saint. I can forgive if he really wants to be forgiven. If he just wants to get it over with so he can do it again, he’s out. My kids and I deserve better.
Thanks for the very detail opinion. Appreciate your participation
Xilly | Apr 9, 2007 | Reply
Why you want to think that the same case will happen to you? If you don want the same thing happen to you, then you should do your best to keep the relatioship. Agree?
Hey Xilly, thanks for your comment. Definitely, I’m working very hard on it but I guess that fear is still there, deep down in my heart *sigh* So, you see it proves that a parent’s bad relationship does affect the children. I’m living proof!
ayu | Nov 22, 2007 | Reply
I think all men are the same. They just want to make their life a little bit colorful by seeing someone else. But we can’t force them to stop. They will not stop until they want to stop. So, until they want to stop, I think we should use this opportunity to learn to love ourself. They seeing someone else mean they will spend more time with their new girls. And, positively, it mean we had more time for our self. I use this opportunity to know myself better, to repair my look, my hair, my face, my body. To work better in my workplace.To read novell in the middle of the night. In conclusion, I use my time to love and treat myself better than before. Honestly, this kind of respond didn’t come suddenly. Yes, I cried and angry when first time I found out. Yes, I protest and try to stop him to seeing her in the beginning. But with that kind of respond, what I’ve got was not what I expected. I learn to receive the fact that he seeing someone else. And I feel more comfortable with this respond because I feel more relax, look the problem more clearly, could handle my daughter without worrying her father. When he asked me to divorce, I just said, “OK. You could divorce me” very lightly. But until now, he never divorce me. Somehow, with my relax respond, he realize he was more comfortable with me. Right now our marriage is okay. I knew he had stop seeing that girl, but I can’t guarantee he will not seeing other girl in the future. But I can guarantee myself that I won’t respond next his infidelity with anger nor grudge. And somehow, his infidelity make me realize something. I should love and treat myself better.
Thanks for your sharing. You are a very brave woman. I would probably just “bobbitt” him if I found out. Nah! I would not do that for risk of being put in jail because I love my kids. But honestly, I don’t think I would be able to forgive him. I know I would not sleep with my partner knowing that he has slept with others. Having said that, sometimes when you are really in that shoe, it might trigger a different reaction